Friday, June 15, 2012

Tinnitis (Ears Ringing) Driving Me Mad

Most of the time, my ears ring. A really high, whine, much like electronic things can make, or a psychotic mosquito. And, most of the time, I can work hard to ignore it. I make sure I'm not in a completely quiet room. I have some other noise going like the radio or a fan. I also have a "white noise" machine and there's a good app that I have on my Samsung tablet that's called "Colored Noiser" that is free and pretty good.

Most of the time I can accept the ears ringing. Keep in mind I make a yearly trip to the Ear Nose and Throat doctor (ENT) and I have my hearing checked. They even sent me for a test for a non-cancerous tumor called an Acoustic Neuroma that sometimes can cause ears to ring. So, it's been checked out.

The only other possible left as a "cause" other than it just being a condition that overlaps with Fibromyalgia is TMJ. I talked to my dentist about it and he doesn't think I have it -- or, that if I DO have it, if I am not having symptoms other than the ears ringing, he would leave it alone (kind of hinting that treating it was a pain in the rear that I probably wouldn't want to deal with, since I already have to use a CPAP mask at night, a mouthguard for TMJ would be very frustrating!) I had to agree with him on that.

So I think it's something that goes along with my Fibromyalgia that I just have to get used to and accept it.
As I've said, most of the time I can, but today it just grated on me until I broke down and cried a little bit. More like angry and frustrated with it than feeling defeated. I just felt like if it could JUST go away for FIVE MINUTES, that would be enough for me to regroup mentally for it and face it again. Just FIVE MINUTES, but I couldn't even have that. I CBT'd myself out of it (unofficial Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) by telling myself that I have been through it day in and day out before and I could deal with it and I could deal with it again. Sigh. I still hate it though.

This is part of the mental torture of Fibromyalgia. I feel like nobody could ever understand this.

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