Morning stiffness and pain

Ah, yesterday I felt oddly great, almost normal. This morning I woke up with lots of back pain and really pain just about everywhere.

The new thing was my hands were very stiff, like my skin was too tight to stretch when I made a fist. That is a scary new symptom which could mean Scleroderma.

But one time doesn't mean I have it. Worth mentioning to my doctor
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I also have a headache and some congestion, which could be due to only wearing the CPAP 2 hours. I apparently slept roughly because I took off the CPAP in my sleep and the foam pad on my bed was all bunched up, which added to my discomfort.

I didn't take any medications before bed because I was feeling so good then.

Bursitis hip pain with Fibromyalgia & the view from here

Hip pain has been hurting a lot the last couple days. Well duh! Pain hurts. What a silly thing I just wrote! lol!
Luckily, I can laugh at myself and the silly things that I do.

A couple days ago I pulled a back muscle & had to take a Flexeril. Since that improved, my hips got jealous for attention and now they hurt.

I am very down. Although I can still laugh about absurdity, I feel so very depressed. I feel like the only enjoyment I have is eating. I'm not motivated or energetic enough to go for a decent walk. I've only been taking the dog out into our yard.

I am really not happy being married anymore. I haven't been happy for at least 10 years. Actually longer...I've been pretty miserable for many years. I don't have any say or power in this relationship. I am not listened to. Sometimes I am treated nicely but mostly rudely.

I've come to realize that if we stay together, when we're old it will be just us & I won't see our kids or future grandkids because of his boundary issues (for one example, he doesnt want our daughter's boyfriend to come over anymore). No reason, other than his CSA issues...he doesn't want anyone else in the house. I am losing my patience.

Things are going to get rough, because I just can't keep my mouth shut and pretend everything's fine anymore. It's time to address the elephant in the room he's been ignoring.

The trouble is me not making money. I am in a dependent state.

I haven't been able to figure out how I can fix that.