Rib & back pain, chest discomfort

My ribs hurt like someone hugged me overly hard. Trigger point-like knots at the back of my neck. I try to massage them out. I'm hurting but if I take Tramadol I will probably have trouble sleeping...but pain can bother sleep too - so, what to do?

I haven't had any more heart palpitations since the last post about it. I'm back to taking my vitamin B-12 sublinguals. I have had terrible intolerance to cold. My hands and feet are always cold, and being cold is actually physically painful. It can be a sign of hypothyroidism & I will asked to be checked for that the next time I go....but, I think if you also have Fibromyalgia, then you know how the test results will come back - "Normal," right? And doctors DO rely on those tests, even though they claim they treat the patient, not tests.

So doing some research, I found that deficiency in B12 can also cause extreme intolerance to cold. I got back into taking my vitamins. It could be my imagination, but the last couple days have been better than usual. I'm keeping the supplements at the bedside so I can remember to take them.

Feel like I'm made of lead

It took a lot of talking by my husband to get me out of bed. I was so sleepy and so heavy. Mainly heavy. My arms and legs felt like they were made of lead. Last night I took 1 Benadryl and a Tylenol (I had taken Tramadol earlier in the day).

 I just wanted something to help me sleep and cut any pain so I could sleep well.

I can't see either of those medications causing me to feel so limb-heavy.  I wonder if it's something to do with energy in the cells of my body. I know a lady who has Mitochondrial disease and that is really scary. I don't think I have that, but I wonder if this is something that goes with that problem. 

Knowing people with Mitochondrial disease, Lupus, and even Stage 4 Liver Cancer helps me keep perspective about my problems. I may feel like absolute shit, but it's not terminal and all I have to do is get through the day and the Lord grants me a new day. I am lucky.

Bad several days and a pity party

I have had a bad time for the last several days. The pain has been bad, the fog deep, the ears ringing even more than usual and the fatigue HEAVY.

I have work to do (I work at home) but it seems unconquerable. I have kept putting off communicating with clients because I feel so shitty -but I can only put off communicating for so long.

I have to either push forward now or tell clients I'm sorry I can't help them. Unfortunately for most of the things I can do to make money, it all has Christmas deadline...and I know that part of this is probably depression. Not depressed enough to harm myself, but I just want to be left alone. I have no drive to accomplish anything.

I'm trying to re-assess how I can reorganize my business so that it works for me (so my jobs will be more basic and not so involved and difficult) -- I can't handle the more difficult jobs now. At least I am able to make the changes that I need, I am trying to look at the bright side of that.

But I feel like such a loser that I cannot seem to motivate myself.

I did cry before going to sleep last night, but I can't even let myself get a good pity party of sobbing going because I know I have to put on my CPAP mask. So there is the frustration that I can't even cry like a normal person now? Sheesh!

So this morning I told my husband I was thinking about what I could do to no longer take on the difficult/complicated jobs and just do simple jobs. He made a snarky comment like "What, cuz they're cutting into your INTERNET time?!?"

Of course that hurt my feelings. I do spend time on the Internet that seems like more than normal, but I make money using the Internet (I keep some websites, I write, etc)...so when I am using the Internet I'm not playing, I am working and trying to make some money but I guess it looks to others like I am playing.

So I realized even he doesn't understand. Part of my time is spent on the Internet using my tablet -- and again that looks like playing but what I am doing is trying to distract myself from the pain. Lying in bed listening to my ears ring louder and louder doesn't help. The tablet is a good distraction.

Anyway, as usual I got myself so upset and frustrated that "Nobody will every understand me" that I cried. My husband later came over to me and put his arm around me and apologized. He said, "That was bitchy of me, wasn't it?"

I can understand his point of view, because I would probably feel that he was a lazy faker if our situations were reversed.

Stomach pain after eating apples

I do have terrible burning stomach pain and cramping after I eat an apple. Not anything added to the apple, not a caramel apple, but just a normal apple. I noticed pectin mentioned in some articles as I've been doing my online research about Fibromyalgia. For some reason, today it hit me that I should look up stomach pains after eating apples, and I found out about Fructose Intolerance. I have been suspicious that I have food intolerances for some time now, but this is driving me to look further into it. Here's what I found -- from a doctor's notes regarding a patient who also had Fibromyalgia:

"The patient's lymphocytes have shown a deficient ability to tolerate fructose (found in table sugar, corn syrup and fruits). Fructose is metabolized differently from other sugars. A fructose load leads to accumulation of fructose-1-phosphate in cells which may partially deplete intracellular ATP levels in susceptible individuals. Decreased cellular ATP causes disturbances in protein, DNA & RNA synthesis, interferences with cyclic AMP formation, and reduced ammonia detoxification. Several forms of hereditary fructose intolerance have been described. Symptoms may include fatigue, headaches, weakness, dizziness, behavioral changes and depressed immune function. Excess intake of fructose should be avoided, rather than absolute removal of dietary fructose. Whole foods containing fructose (fruits and some vegetables) may be consumed, in order to benefit from their overall nutritional value. Foods very rich in fructose include table sugar (sucrose), high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, fruit juice concentrates and a large list of prepared foods containing sucrose and/or corn syrup. Reduction of excess dietary fructose intake by avoidance of foods very rich in fructose is suggested." [source]

It's a pretty good website for Fibromyalgia tips, but keep in mind the author of the website is a rep for a vitamin company, so there is some attempt to sell you products (completely fine and legal, I just thought I would let you know that right off the bat)

The Livestrong website substantiates what the doctor says about Fructose Intolerance here

Neck muscle & Fibro book

I woke up this morning fine, but within 15 minutes of waking up, my left side of neck and shoulder hurt. I can't turn my head to the left...the muscles of my neck are very tight on that side and it's like an elastic band that runs from my neck to my collarbone/shoulder area that is very tight. I've tried moist heat, dry heat, and 2 Advils.

I was able to download Fibromyalgia for Dummies from the library's website - the full book - for free! However, I haven't been able to figure out how to put the book on my tablet so I can sit or lie down comfortably to read it. So I've been reading it on the computer. I think I am close to figuring it out, or else my tablet isn't compatible with the programs. If all else fails, maybe I can figure out how to get the info from the laptop to the micro SD card and then put the micro SD into the tablet and transfer the file that way. One of my issues is being able to stick with a task when it proves challenging, because my aches and pains and overall fatigue really make me short of the patience needed.

I asked my husband a question, and he was a bit irritated that I asked him the same question yesterday and he answered me. Oh derp. I do remember asking but I don't remember the answer. That must be the inattentiveness of fibro. Fun!

I'm trying to look at the funny side of all this. Since I can't turn left because of my neck pain, I can only walk in circles! Not really, but it's a funny thought, and the funny thoughts are keeping me going. I've had 2 times today that I just wanted to break down and cry. I am so frustrated and hurting so bad.

I saw a job opening that looked like it would be perfect for me, but I can't really see how I could do a job feeling the way I do. However, making more money would probably solve some of my stress over money. The job is full time and has no benefits though, and I have to be honest, it would be good to have a job that if I did get worse and became disabled, I would be able to have some short term or long term disability benefits.

Symptom & Pain log (I guess this will be like Captain Kirk's Stardate Log)
Pain in left side of neck radiating to left shoulder, can't turn head to the left.
Pain in right shoulder
Pain in top right hip
Ears ringing