First dose of Effexor

I'm writing this at 3 o'clock in the morning, approximately 6 hours after my first dose of Effexor 75 mg
I woke up suddenly, and felt like my eyes couldn't focus well. Then I felt like I had rapid eye movement. Next, I felt very warm and the room seemed suddenly very small...I felt claustrophobic, kind of shaky and panicky. I calmed myself by telling myself it was probably caused by the medication.

Now I feel somewhat strange overall, with slight headache, feel nauseated, and my ears are ringing loudly. My ears ring most of the time anyway.

I'm unhappy that this seems to be another drug I cannot take. I was hoping this one could help, especially with the Trichotillomania.

However, I would rather be a pretty normal person who happens to pull her hair than have panic attack in my own bedroom!

This is really scary. I think I'll read the warning sheet for the drug one more time before I take it again.

4 am: Headache worse, diarrhea.

7 am: Nausea, headache, watery diarrhea.

9:30 am: Still bad headache at forehead and face. Stomach still hurts but tolerable.

I took my temperature throughout and it has stayed normal.

I really don't think I want to take this medicine again.

7:15 pm: Still feel queasy, headache, occasional gas & diarrhea. When will this stuff leave my body?!?

Bad several days and a pity party

I have had a bad time for the last several days. The pain has been bad, the fog deep, the ears ringing even more than usual and the fatigue HEAVY.

I have work to do (I work at home) but it seems unconquerable. I have kept putting off communicating with clients because I feel so shitty -but I can only put off communicating for so long.

I have to either push forward now or tell clients I'm sorry I can't help them. Unfortunately for most of the things I can do to make money, it all has Christmas deadline...and I know that part of this is probably depression. Not depressed enough to harm myself, but I just want to be left alone. I have no drive to accomplish anything.

I'm trying to re-assess how I can reorganize my business so that it works for me (so my jobs will be more basic and not so involved and difficult) -- I can't handle the more difficult jobs now. At least I am able to make the changes that I need, I am trying to look at the bright side of that.

But I feel like such a loser that I cannot seem to motivate myself.

I did cry before going to sleep last night, but I can't even let myself get a good pity party of sobbing going because I know I have to put on my CPAP mask. So there is the frustration that I can't even cry like a normal person now? Sheesh!

So this morning I told my husband I was thinking about what I could do to no longer take on the difficult/complicated jobs and just do simple jobs. He made a snarky comment like "What, cuz they're cutting into your INTERNET time?!?"

Of course that hurt my feelings. I do spend time on the Internet that seems like more than normal, but I make money using the Internet (I keep some websites, I write, etc)...so when I am using the Internet I'm not playing, I am working and trying to make some money but I guess it looks to others like I am playing.

So I realized even he doesn't understand. Part of my time is spent on the Internet using my tablet -- and again that looks like playing but what I am doing is trying to distract myself from the pain. Lying in bed listening to my ears ring louder and louder doesn't help. The tablet is a good distraction.

Anyway, as usual I got myself so upset and frustrated that "Nobody will every understand me" that I cried. My husband later came over to me and put his arm around me and apologized. He said, "That was bitchy of me, wasn't it?"

I can understand his point of view, because I would probably feel that he was a lazy faker if our situations were reversed.

Hearing Check

I had my hearing test & it was normal, I was surprised because during much of the test, I couldn't tell the difference between the high pitched tones the audiologist used for testing and the tinnitis whine! The ENT said my hearing was on high end of normal. They checked my eustachian tubes & pressure & said that they are in normal limits.

Soooo, in about a month, I am going for a diagnostic test to check for acoustic neuroma (tumors or growth at the brain stem). I do not think I have that, but they have to be sure to rule it out just in case. The test will not hurt, all I'll need to do is lie back & relax.

In the meantime, my ENT wants me to pop my ears 3 times after each meal. I don't think meals have anything to do with it, but that's just a way I can remember to pop my ears 3x at a time, 3x a day.

Tinnitis in Fibromyalgia - Possible Causes

Ear ringing can be caused as a side effect of the muscle relaxant Flexeril.
Tinnitis can be a side effect of opioid pain reducer Tramadol (Ultram)
Advil (Ibuprofen) can also cause ringing in the ears.

Neck muscle & Fibro book

I woke up this morning fine, but within 15 minutes of waking up, my left side of neck and shoulder hurt. I can't turn my head to the left...the muscles of my neck are very tight on that side and it's like an elastic band that runs from my neck to my collarbone/shoulder area that is very tight. I've tried moist heat, dry heat, and 2 Advils.

I was able to download Fibromyalgia for Dummies from the library's website - the full book - for free! However, I haven't been able to figure out how to put the book on my tablet so I can sit or lie down comfortably to read it. So I've been reading it on the computer. I think I am close to figuring it out, or else my tablet isn't compatible with the programs. If all else fails, maybe I can figure out how to get the info from the laptop to the micro SD card and then put the micro SD into the tablet and transfer the file that way. One of my issues is being able to stick with a task when it proves challenging, because my aches and pains and overall fatigue really make me short of the patience needed.

I asked my husband a question, and he was a bit irritated that I asked him the same question yesterday and he answered me. Oh derp. I do remember asking but I don't remember the answer. That must be the inattentiveness of fibro. Fun!

I'm trying to look at the funny side of all this. Since I can't turn left because of my neck pain, I can only walk in circles! Not really, but it's a funny thought, and the funny thoughts are keeping me going. I've had 2 times today that I just wanted to break down and cry. I am so frustrated and hurting so bad.

I saw a job opening that looked like it would be perfect for me, but I can't really see how I could do a job feeling the way I do. However, making more money would probably solve some of my stress over money. The job is full time and has no benefits though, and I have to be honest, it would be good to have a job that if I did get worse and became disabled, I would be able to have some short term or long term disability benefits.

Symptom & Pain log (I guess this will be like Captain Kirk's Stardate Log)
Pain in left side of neck radiating to left shoulder, can't turn head to the left.
Pain in right shoulder
Pain in top right hip
Ears ringing

Ringing Ears

Ringing ears continue. Someone in the Fibro101 forum suggested taking Mucinex to drain eustachian tubes. I took only 1 Mucinex D and a glass of water. Hope it helps. Have already tried cleaning ears with peroxide to no noticeable improvement.

Heart burn, cold feet, flu like pain & lack of emotional support

Last night I ate spaghetti and suffered some pretty bad heartburn-like discomfort. I had eaten some grape tomatoes for a snack earlier, and I guess that was entirely too much tomato acid for me. I think it feels unfair to get smacked down after eating something "healthy." I think the tomatoes would have been okay, but the spaghetti sauce and probably the grease in the meat was too much for me.

This morning I woke up feeling pretty okay. Nothing that could be described as 'super,' but not the worst either. I used the latex pillow which is a little higher and a little bit like memory foam. I also decided at the last minute to put some loose socks on, because my feet have been getting cold during the night (during the SUMMER. WTH?!?) but it did seem to help a lot.

The Tinnitis (ringing in the ears) has gotten worse. It used to be only noticeable when I went to bed at night, but now I am more aware of it happening in the daytime. When I say "ringing," it's not ringing like a phone. It's a high-pitched sound wave type thing like a piece of electronics might do. I just try to ignore it.

It may sound silly, but I am really motivated to vacuum the entryway, hallway, and living room (at least the open spaces) every morning. The carpet is new, and with 6 people in the house plus a dog, I think it makes sense to keep this up. I put the vacuum cleaner on a setting that isn't too difficult to push/pull. So that gives me a mild morning exercise. I do this as soon as the kids are all off to school. It's a small thing, but I do feel good knowing I've started off the day with an accomplishment, no matter how tiny it is.

Even after wearing the socks, my feet hurt this morning though. The bottoms of them felt very tender as I walked around first thing in the morning. That's not uncommon for me. My toes started hurting somewhat and the best way I can describe it is when a toe feels like it needs to be popped?

I took one Advil, but sometime after vacuuming this morning, my aches intensified. First my ankles felt really swollen and achy (but visually and touching them, they aren't swollen at all) - the urge is to raise them up on a pillow, like one would do for swollen ankles. I don't think doing that actually helps my ankles at all, but I do it, if only for the psychological benefit.

After being still for a bit like this, more aches that I had at a dull level up to that point suddenly intensified. The inner part of my elbows, my knees, my ankles, my neck, my jaw (that's a new fun one), my wrists. The pain got up to the intensity of a full-blown achy flu.

Just when I thought I was going to have a crappy day full of that kind of pain, it started tapering off. This wasn't more than 10 minutes of the heavy flu aches. You don't have to tell me twice, so I took 2 more Advils and all my vitamins. Well, not all of them, just the right quantity. lol

The hubs was wanting sex, and of course I didn't feel up to it (who would?) But his pouting was a real turn on (sarcasm). Never would he think of massaging me, talking with me and saying he hoped I'd feel better, or anything that would indear me to him. How many people want to have sex when they feel like they have flu aches?!? Anyway, I don't need the guilt trips. Showing me again that he only cares about himself is NOT a turn on in any way.

Durrrr!

Although I am still aching in the shoulders and feet, the realization has just hit me that as soon as hubs left, my pain started subsiding. I wonder if it's possible that certain people make me sick? I can't blame it on the person if that's true, because it would be MY REACTION to the person that causes it. I can't control other people, I can only control myself after all.

Thoughts?